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Find Your Confidence Booster: How to Feel Powerful and Sexy

Stefanie Schornsheim 1

*All links marked with AL are affiliate links. That is, if you buy through this link, you incur no additional costs, but I get a small commission. All mentioned and showed products were paid for by myself because I personally use them.

Today I’m sharing my routine that makes me feel unstoppable

„Fake it till you make it“ is real! I was shy and insecure but I started pretending that I am confident, powerful, and sexy. And it worked over time!

The following steps are based on my personal experience. Those helped me a lot in building confidence, especially when presenting something to other people, going in front of a camera, or just going out. Up until today, I am following them like a routine before I do any kind of public speaking.


One of the best confidence boosters is wearing something that makes you feel awesome! Open your wardrobe and look for the dress or the suit that might be too special for a daily occasion – and put it on. You immediately feel more elegant. Am I right?

Just think about what Karl Lagerfeld said:

„Loving fashion means wearing it too.“

Karl Lagerfeld

Before covid, I started wearing my special outfits when going to work in the office. And yes, I felt super special, people looked at me and some gave me compliments. I’d describe the style as rock chic. This is what I love wearing even if some people would say it’s overdressed 🤷

When I’m wearing my leather jacket, I kind of feel badass and powerful. Until I was able to afford one, I had a cheaper fake leather jacket by ONLY (AL) for many years.

Take some time to go through your closet and find the outfit that triggers the emotion you want to feel more often. This can be anything from confident to sexy.

If you feel like you don’t have anything special to wear, take this opportunity to go shopping and buy clothes where you think confident people would wear them. Second-hand is a really good thing to do here too (especially if money is short). You can always tell yourself the story that a very confident person already wore the clothes and that this feeling will now go right into your body when you’re putting them on. The energy is there, use it.


Wearing shoes with a bit of a heel improves your posture a lot. One to three centimeters or half to one inch can already be enough. This alters your center of balance by shifting your body’s weight slightly onto the balls of your feet. It makes you lean backward a tiny bit, so the arch in your lower is increased. You will stand more upright and radiate confidence.

Keep in mind how long you’ll wear those shoes and keep some backup flats in your handbag if you can. Also, don’t wear high heels if you’re never wearing them as it would be too complicated to walk.

Here’s a picture of my favorite shoes that I love wearing when presenting. They were very expensive and I had to save money for a while, but they have the perfect height, are very comfortable, and have the glitter luxury touch which makes me feel unstoppable. Those were also my wedding shoes 👰

Pumps Bellucci, „Rainbow“ collection, Dolce&Gabbana

To increase your posture, even more, do the following exercise:

Stand with your feet hip-width apart and stretch your arms over your head trying to reach the sky. Now let your arm sink slowly to the sides of your body. This is your most upright position. remember how this feels and go back into this position whenever you want to be or to be perceived as confident.


Find the smell that makes you feel comfortable and think about confidence. What kind of smell resonates with you depends on many factors. For me, this is „Fleur de Pêcher“ by Karl Lagerfeld (AL). It’s fresh, light, very female, and elegant. Just the perfect choice for the feeling I want to have.

For my husband, it’s „Sauvage“ by Dior. It’s sensual but also spicy and has a touch of wilderness.


I always hated make-up. While girls in my class looked like paintings when we were 13-ish, I was wearing my plain face. The only thing I started using regularly was mascara but at that age, I only bought cheap ones that kept leaving black stains underneath my eyes after a short time. I hated that. For many years I did not use any kind of make-up.

When I started working in front of the camera, I had to learn how to properly use all the different tools. A make-up artist showed me exactly one routine that I just used every time (I still do!). And seeing myself on camera with that beautiful look on my face gave me a boost. But I still only used make-up for work and when going out.

It was only last year when preparing for my wedding that I started to feel joy when putting it on. And I discovered my love for red lipstick. I always thought it would be too much or that I would look like a clown. But actually, it comes with a big confidence boost. My favorite one is called „Natural Born Leader“ by M.A.C and it makes me feel exactly like that. It’s like me owning whatever I’m about to do. And I love it.


Personally, I work a lot with symbols as reminders. This can be a certain stone that stands for something specific like amber. People say it brings vitality and works as a protection against anxiety and depression. Or the aventurin (AL) that strengthens optimism.

I was wearing an amber necklace (AL) underneath my shirt for a long time. It was a constant reminder that I wanted to trust that I am safe and protected. It worked well for me. This is the power of imagination that is very helpful for a bunch of people. Just try and see if it works for you as well.

Photos by Ana Shuda and Content Pixie

On my wrist, I was wearing bracelets with specific messages like „All I need is within me“ (AL). This turned out to be a very powerful reminder as I had it right next to my watch. Whenever I looked at the time I immediately saw the message I wanted to keep in mind around the clock.


Power poses are the best! There was an episode of „Grey’s Anatomy“ that covered this topic. It was in episode 14 season 11 (AL) when Dr. Amelia Shepherd stands like Wonder Woman before a big surgery: Hands on the hips, chest out, chin up, feet hip-width apart.

She says: „There’s a scientific study that shows that if you stand like this in superhero pose for just five minutes before a job interview or a big presentation or a really hard task, you will not only feel more confident, you will perform immeasurably better.“

It’s just a TV show, but the scientific study exists! It was done by Harvard in 2012.

Before I go on stage to speak, I’ll still do this pose. But even back then when my anxiety was very heavy, standing in this pose for five minutes gave me strength and calmed me down.

There is another „pose“ that you can take to lift up your mood and confidence. Vera F. Birkenbihl, a German author and coach, explains it in one of her talks: If you smile for 60 seconds straight, your body will produce happiness hormones. If someone makes you laugh naturally this process is faster. But you can trick your body into producing these hormones if you keep smiling heavily for one minute.

Awesome, right? „Fake it till you make it“ is true.

Please share in the comments if you tried this routine or parts of it and how it works for you. Or share what else you’re doing to feel powerful. ⬇️

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