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How to become who you want to be

Stefanie Schornsheim 0

A couple of years ago, I would not even dream of the life I’m living now. I was controlled by fear, felt stuck, and was unfulfilled. On my worst days, I wasn’t even able to leave my bed. My biggest question was, „who am I“?

Now I’m happy, confident, and full of purpose. Let me show you the exact steps I took to transform my life 360 degrees 🎉 It all comes down to asking yourself three questions.

*All links marked with AL are affiliate links. If you buy through this link, you incur no additional costs, but I get a small commission. All mentioned and showed products were paid for by myself because I personally use them.


Step 1 is figuring out who you are right now – and where. You need to accept where you are right now. You cannot change the past. Never. But you have power over the present that shapes your future.

You might wonder how you can get there? How is it possible to accept mistakes from the past? To forgive others and to forgive yourself. I recommend: Meditating daily. I used writing meditation to give all my feelings and thoughts the room they needed to overcome anxiety step by step.

✅ Don’t forget: This is a process that takes time, and the only way to make progress is to consistently show up for yourself and work on overcoming everything that holds you back.


When you can accept your past and get the courage to start shaping your future, make a list of 30 things you want in your life. They can be material, spiritual, or anything else. But it needs to be 30 points! Because it will be easy to come up with some things that would be nice at the beginning. But the last points you’ll only uncover if you explore your deep inner self.

Based on those 30 things, create a vision of yourself and write it down: What are your character traits? Who do you want to be? What do you see yourself doing the whole day in the future? How does it feel to be the new you?


The vision of your future self provides significant milestones. This could be, for example, your living situation, your relationship or family, your job, or even freedom. Break down those ambitious goals into small milestones. Think about what exactly you need to achieve to get one(!) step closer to the vision of the new you. Focus on one thing at a time.

Now that you have those small milestones create daily habits or rituals based on those goals. Your life is the sum of what you do every day. So, to turn your life around, you need to establish habits that resonate with your vision and be one percent better every day. During that process, only compare yourself to yourself and don’t look at what others do.

If you need support on creating habits, I can recommend the English book „Atomic Habits“ (AL) or the German version „Die 1% Methode“ (AL) by James Clear.

How do you feel thinking about all of this? Does it make sense? Let me know via e-mail or in the comments below.

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