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Start Doing Things for Yourself

Stefanie Schornsheim 1

Looking as functioning well on the outside but actually struggling on the inside…

Sound familiar? Listen up!

This week, we’re talking about self-care: Suppose you’ve been wondering how to shift from needing validation or being a people-pleaser to someone who takes care of themselves.

In that case, I’m addressing it all in today’s post. Let’s get started:


At first, you have to clear your mind. If you’re centered around pleasing others, you’re most likely not seeing yourself as you really are.

To unwrap, we’re doing a writing meditation. Take out a piece of paper or your favorite notebook and grab a pen or pencil.

I’ll leave some of my beliefs here, and you pick the ones that resonate with you and that you want to have in your life. Choose around three to five to begin with, and write them down repeatedly on your paper until at least one page is completely full. While writing, you keep a picture of yourself in mind, confidently speaking those sentences.

Ready? Here’s my list:

✒️ I am honest with myself.
✒️ I am listening to my body.
✒️ I am nice to myself.
✒️ I start giving more love to myself.
✒️ I make my own happiness a priority.
✒️ I am ready to give my hopes/dreams/ideas a chance now.
✒️ I am thankful to learn.
✒️ I am responsible for my decisions and my life.
✒️ I can say „no.“
✒️ I focus on the possibility of a positive outcome.
✒️ I forgive myself for mistakes in the past.
✒️ I forgive others.
✒️ I am happy for others who achieve their goals.

Writing down affirmations repeatedly will do the „fake it till you make it“-trick. It tells our brains many times what we ARE and what we DO, so this will become the normal thinking state at some point. It might take a while, but it has the power to transform your way of thinking.

This exercise helped me become more confident. And to remind me throughout the day of those powerful phrases, I also had a sticky note in my bathroom cupboard. Every time I grabbed the toothpaste, I read the sentence. I also had a bracelet engraved with the sentence that resonated most at the time. I struggled a lot with needing validation and people-pleasing, so I got one saying, „Everything I need is within me.“ Every day, it reminded me of what I wanted when I fell back into old behaviors.


Now let’s talk about the second part:

When you’re a people-pleaser, you’re spending most of the time focusing on what others need. To break out of this habit, you need to start making time for things you enjoy.

Block those times in your calendar. Right now.

Start with at least two times a week, 30 minutes each slot. During those times, you have a meeting with yourself.

You can spend those 30 minutes with everything you want:

This can be sleeping, watching an episode of a tv series, workout, reading some pages in a book, or pursuing any hobby you have but never find time for. It could also be a small wellness break. You could book a massage appointment or do a facial mask at home. You could also use the time for cooking or creating a delicious dessert.

The important part is that you start making time for yourself and seeing yourself and your needs. You need to take the initiative to break out of old unhealthy habits.

The writing meditation will switch a lever in your brain so that you’re always aware of what you want to be. The scheduled meetings with yourself will get you in the habit of caring for yourself.

Send me a message and let me know if this works for you.

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